Idealism not pragmatism
Well, I survived my first anatomy exam. I wasn’t freaking out like, oh no, I don’t know anything, but I also wasn’t super confident, like oh wow, I know everything. I literally have no idea how well I did. I’m just praying that I passed, and hoping against hope that I did better than I imagine.
First, don’t wear any underwear under your clothing at all. Make sure you have too much or too little body hair, depending on the style of sexuality you’re attempting to achieve. After that, you’re gonna need a whole bunch of lube. Go online and do comparison shopping and find the lube that’s right for you. Finally, light about a hundred candles all over your bedroom and put on music about saxophones or panflutes.
(That’s all I got so far.)
thank you, lord, for the 80s. no other decade has ever produced such delightful androgyny.
new aesthetic: cryptidcore
- kitschy t shirts and keychains from souvenir shops depicting the local urban legends and monsters
- glow in the dark stuff and generic alien themed stuff
- tin foil hats
- muffled x files, gravity falls, and twilight zone theme songs playing in the distance
- staring into the night sky and wondering if we’re alone
- lots of pictures of the woods and abandoned houses
*university voice* unfortunately… we have too much money… so we have to raise tuition so we can build a place to keep all the other money in… so sorry unavoidable
smokey the bear cradles the embers of a extinguished fire in his thick hairy arms, gently caressing and rocking them as a soft bear lullaby echoes from his throat